now is 4.19AM . i still cant slp ,
my parents slept . and i just thinking of death , dear & gans.
what should i do ? . i really so confused .
i really dunno what to do .
death is my only solution .
why ? how i wish someone will adopt me.
my parents say i dun appreciate them .
they go around for the sec sch thingy , MP thingy .
and they say i nvr appreciate them? in my heart , i appreciate them . they just dunno abt it.
they say im a bad girl who have a blackhearted.
in their heart i am this kind of girl . when they go around , i ask them : got good news?
they say no . my heart sank . i just feel like asking them to giveup .
i even told dear abt it . hais .. i really dunno what to do ..
i fear dear leave me alone , i fear dear will love/like another girl .
i fear . i really fear. :( i hate it . just want to end my life ..
but the promises to dar ,
- 16 yrs old thingy .
-Childrens/marrriage. :(
-Lastlong .
-Faithful , sweet .

if i end , everything is gone.
but i really dunwan to stay at this house anymore. im tired .
really tired . at grandma hse? they dun allow.
girls home? yarh. they allow. they happy.
they crash my fone and throw away. i scream and cry like hell .
:( . phone really is v.v.v. important to me.
Freedom too .
like that then i can lastlong with dear ,
he go sec sch, i go pri sch.
wth ? i really dunwan sia.
i want to see him everyday. but he cant call me too right...
i miss him lots a lots. super.
you all dun understand wan ..
if can, dar mother will accept me marhs? dar mother will let me in her house marhs?
if can ? i really wan sia. but cannot .
why life is that cruel too me? .
end it / dun end it .

im confused. i hope dear will call me everday :( .
i hope i can get back my fone.
i hope i can have abit freedom larh. 10% oso can.
i hope i can everyday meet dar .
i hope my parents accept dar.
if that come true , im willing to do anything .
if me and dar can lastlong , i willing to do anything.
serious. :(
God , pls help me awhile . help me pls . im so painful and hurt and sad.
i dunno how to elaborate my feelings but im tired of it.

i hope dear will see this :( .

Lim yufeng ! i love you deeeeeeply. :(